April 4th

Today took me back to a lot of my memories. Of course, that leads me back to thinking about Charles. Until his dying day he would always say that our first date was April 4th. He couldn't remember the year, but that date was really special to both of us. Tonight I went to a singles dinner and special entertainment. It was a guy who sang many 50's and 60's songs. I've always said my life is like a song and so many of the songs brought those times rushing back to me. One of the songs was Last Date and I thought about my mother. That was one of her favorite songs played by Floyd Cramer. He would tell the year the song was popular and I would think, I was 12 or I was 14 and it is so hard to imagine how much has happened in the years I've been living. I told my friend, Jeanie today that I feel like I've lived so many different life times. She said, you've done a lot of things. Looking back I wonder how my life would have changed if I had made just one different decision. Then I thought, no, I might not have met Charles and he was the great love of my life. I owe so much to him. I couldn't be where I am today if I had not met him. Thank you, Charles, for April 4th! DR 4/4/16

Jeanie and Nathan

Jeanie and Nathan have been my friends for almost 50 years. It's funny, but when I first met them I felt that I wasn't good enough to be their friends. Now I realize I can't spend another day without their friendship. I knew Eric and Lisa when they were just little and were in the children's church. I told Jeanie one day after church that Eric had sung the sweetest little song about a lamb. She said the only song he knew was "Bah, Bah Black Sheep." We had a laugh. I've had so many good times with the Chandlers. One time Jeanie came up to our house and played my piano for Charles. She was playing out of what she called the "red" hymnal. I said why is it called red when mine is green??? After a few songs, she said call out a number and she would begin to play and sing that song. I really tried to stump her but I couldn't. Charles thought she was the smartest woman around. When they came back from being missionaries in Honduras, I got her to go to training in BeautiControl Cosmetics. I went also, and well, all I can say it was definitely an experience I will never forget! When my husband first got sick, Jeanie was my prayer partner. One day she called me and said she work up in the middle of the night and looked at the clock and it said 3:16 a.m. She knew she was supposed to pray for Charles and she started off by reciting John 3:16. Friends, what can I say? Both Jeanie and Nathan have always been here for me even when I thought I was so low nobody could love me. They are true friends and I have seen the love they have for each other. Oh, if all marriages could be like theirs. Happy 58th Anniversary to two of my favorite people! DR 3/30/16

Thoughts

Today we had our big breakfast meeting with my company downtown. We had a couple of different speakers, one was from the Northeast and the other was from Oregon/California. The thing that stood out to me were a couple of statements made by both of them that they never pray publicly and they had not said the Pledge to Allegiance since school. I thought to myself how lucky we are to live in the South where these things are a way of life for us. I am also thankful to work for a company who starts our meetings with prayer. Several of us talked about this afterwards and we agreed that we just take those things for granted. What are some of the things in your life that you take for granted? Think about that. DR 2/23/16

December 2015

This year I actually decorated for Christmas--not just a tree but my whole living room and outside too. I've had mixed emotions this month. My dad died December 21, 2011. I just can't believe he has been gone four years already. I went through Christmas that year not being able to have his funeral until December 27. I hear of so many people losing their loved ones this time of year and I know how hard it is. I sometimes wonder why we have to experience such grief. I do know that life goes on and we can truly be happy again. When my cousin died two years ago, I didn't know what I would do because he helped me with my house. That was my wakeup call to get my act together and sell my house. I really miss that house, but I'm so happy that now a family is in it. It has been quite an adjustment for me to get used to living in the "city" again. I love the convenience, and it's usually only five or ten minutes to get home again. I never realized how much time I spent on the road going to and from my house. I have so much to be thankful for this Christmas. My address is "8" which means "a new beginning." I never realized that my life this year is truly made up of new beginnings--new state, new house, new car, and a new someone in my life. Yes, God is good. DR 12/18/15

Stocking Full of Love

I really didn't know what to expect when I agreed to help with the "Stocking Full of Love." We got to Lafayette High School around 11 a.m. The first job was to have an assembly line to make the lunch bags for the bikers. There were several high school students and their teacher and Mrs. Land from Land's Bakery who instructed us on what to do. We made about 500 bags which had a napkin, Little Debbie, and a bag of chips. The next job was to wrap the hot dogs. I've never seen so many wieners and buns in one place. Again, we had an assembly line. We weren't entirely ready when the bikers arrived. They had met at Ridgeland High School and each one had a new toy for a child for Christmas. How I would loved to have seen those 392 bikers coming to Lafayette High School. I posted pictures yesterday, but I cannot begin to tell you how I felt inside to see the love that went into yesterday's event. They filled a trailer with the toys and some boys and girls are going to be so happy this Christmas. Thank you Ron for inviting me to participate. DR 11/9/15 "

Downsizing

I'm a real estate agent. I have helped a lot of people "downsize". I actually thought the term a really good one, that is, until it happened to me. Downsizing. I'm back into my boxes in the garage. What do I do with all of this "stuff"? I remember one time when my husband asked our CPA how long we should keep our tax records. David said at least seven years to be safe. Charles said, So Diane can start getting rid of her taxes from 1963???? Yes, that's me. Pack rat who saves every receipt. When I moved, it just got to be too much to sort and Nancy and I just started throwing everything into boxes. The sad part is that I had been doing that for the past year. I know the guy at the dump wondered how I accumulated so much junk. My Dodge Ram Quad Cab truck was always packed. Well, here I am at it again. Should I keep, should I throw away? It's kind of like, well I haven't seen the stuff in the past 20 years, but I think I'm going to need it. My office right now barely has a little walkway to my chair. I'm surrounded by boxes of probably nothing I will ever need the rest of my life. I could put all of this in the attic and leave it for Christi to go thru. I can't put that off on her. And you know, there are still some things that I cannot find. I know where they used to be in the other house, but where they are now, no one knows. All I can say is, I hate that word "Downsizing." DR 10/21/15

September 1, 2015

Today, 31 years ago was one of the happiest days of my life. When you get married, you think it will be forever. In your marriage vows you say "until death do you part", but at that time you really don't think about it. I can tell you it's a different life. I'm thankful I had 25-1/2 years with Charles. Before we got married I told him that there were two things I didn't want in our vows. I would never be submissive and I would never obey. He looked at me and laughed and said, I don't want you to. I want you to learn to be independent and do things on your own. I thought, hmmm, this man is a keeper. I can say it's easy to be submissive and obey when you're in the right relationship. It's a two way street. I guess the first big thing Charles taught me was when I took my first airplane trip to Dallas. He wanted me to go to a big conference by myself. I talked about it so much that my friend, Cherry, told me that she would go with me to that thing in Dallas if we could visit South Fork. At that time the TV series, Dallas, was really a big hit. I said ok. Little did I know then that Cherry and I neither one have any sense of direction. We rented a car and how we found South Fork I'll never know. When we got ready to go to the airport, I was dreading the trip because I was afraid we would get lost. GPS was not available back then. When I came around the hotel to pick Cherry up, she had a woman with her and told her she could go to the airport with us. I'm sure that woman wishes she had never set foot into our car. Yes, we did get lost inside the airport trying to find the Hertz rental car place. Cherry said, I'll pray and you drive. About that time, a Hertz bus showed up and Cherry said follow that bus. When we stopped, that lady got out and I think she ran. We never saw her again. But, I'll never forget the look on Charles' face when I left. He looked like, what am I making her do. I learned on that first trip that I love to fly. I called him as soon as we landed and told him everything was fine and I loved the plane ride. He seemed so relieved. Charles was my husband, my lover, my best friend, my cheer leader, my counselor and I could go on and on. He had faith in me that I could do things that I didn't think I could do. He taught me so many things but he never taught me how not to be lonely, how not to miss him, but because of him I knew that I could make it. Jeremiah 29:11 kept showing up to me in so many ways after he died. I kept asking God--what are you trying to tell me???? I know now that this verse shows up at times when I need it. Times when I know that God is telling me He still has plans for me. Will I ever love again? I don't know. I would like to think so. I do know that no one can ever replace Charles. I know I'm not looking for someone just like him. I want to keep him the unique, special person he was to me. I can honestly say he was the great love of my life. DR 9/1/15