Christmas 2013

Today is Christmas Eve and my heart is so heavy and so sad. I’ve never had a brother, but my cousin Leon feels like a brother to me. He was so good to my dad when he was in assistant living. I would take Leon so he could cut my dad’s hair. At one time, I think he was cutting every man’s hair that lived there. Then when Charles got so bad, Leon would come over every night and just sit and talk to Charles. He kept Charles’ hair cut and also shaved him. One night Leon was coming in and Charles said, Leon is that you? Leon of course said yes. Charles said, “I love you Leon.” I can still hear Leon laugh as he said, “well Charles I love you too!” Then Charles said, “But Leon, I REALLY LOVE you!” Charles was not the type to show his emotions like that, and I will never forget it. Leon is a year younger than me, and Leon always liked to tell everybody that. Of course, it isn’t even a full year. After Charles died, Leon and I became very close. He helped me with so many things at my house, and he also went with me to some places. One morning he went with me when I was having some blood work done. When I came out, he said, “Let’s go to Nancy and Bobby’s house.” I called to make sure they were home and off we went. When we would leave, we would usually be gone until dark. One night he built a great big bon fire and nobody would sit down there with us. We sat by the fire and talked and talked. His granddaughter, Kristin, said we were just alike. I asked her, how? Kristin said, “You and Poppy just strike up conversations with complete strangers.” A couple of months ago, Leon and Debbie learned something terrible—cancer. I’ve never seen anyone go down so fast. I’m losing one of my best friends. I just can’t understand why, but I know that God’s timing is never our timing. My mother-in-law told me one time that if you live long enough, you will see more and more of your friends and family die. I’m beginning to see that more and more. I can only say that it is not easy. There are no words to describe the pain and the sense of not knowing what to do. I told Leon today that I loved him, and he responded back to me, “I’ve always loved you.” He reached up and held my hand. Oh Leon, I feel so much at a loss. I thought we had a bunch more years to have fun. I guess God wants you more. DR 12/24/13