September 1, 2015

Today, 31 years ago was one of the happiest days of my life. When you get married, you think it will be forever. In your marriage vows you say "until death do you part", but at that time you really don't think about it. I can tell you it's a different life. I'm thankful I had 25-1/2 years with Charles. Before we got married I told him that there were two things I didn't want in our vows. I would never be submissive and I would never obey. He looked at me and laughed and said, I don't want you to. I want you to learn to be independent and do things on your own. I thought, hmmm, this man is a keeper. I can say it's easy to be submissive and obey when you're in the right relationship. It's a two way street. I guess the first big thing Charles taught me was when I took my first airplane trip to Dallas. He wanted me to go to a big conference by myself. I talked about it so much that my friend, Cherry, told me that she would go with me to that thing in Dallas if we could visit South Fork. At that time the TV series, Dallas, was really a big hit. I said ok. Little did I know then that Cherry and I neither one have any sense of direction. We rented a car and how we found South Fork I'll never know. When we got ready to go to the airport, I was dreading the trip because I was afraid we would get lost. GPS was not available back then. When I came around the hotel to pick Cherry up, she had a woman with her and told her she could go to the airport with us. I'm sure that woman wishes she had never set foot into our car. Yes, we did get lost inside the airport trying to find the Hertz rental car place. Cherry said, I'll pray and you drive. About that time, a Hertz bus showed up and Cherry said follow that bus. When we stopped, that lady got out and I think she ran. We never saw her again. But, I'll never forget the look on Charles' face when I left. He looked like, what am I making her do. I learned on that first trip that I love to fly. I called him as soon as we landed and told him everything was fine and I loved the plane ride. He seemed so relieved. Charles was my husband, my lover, my best friend, my cheer leader, my counselor and I could go on and on. He had faith in me that I could do things that I didn't think I could do. He taught me so many things but he never taught me how not to be lonely, how not to miss him, but because of him I knew that I could make it. Jeremiah 29:11 kept showing up to me in so many ways after he died. I kept asking God--what are you trying to tell me???? I know now that this verse shows up at times when I need it. Times when I know that God is telling me He still has plans for me. Will I ever love again? I don't know. I would like to think so. I do know that no one can ever replace Charles. I know I'm not looking for someone just like him. I want to keep him the unique, special person he was to me. I can honestly say he was the great love of my life. DR 9/1/15

National Dog Day, 2015

Today was National Dog Day. I've done a lot of thinking about my Yorkie, Chloe, today. I got her a little less than two weeks before my husband died five years ago. My dog, Tag, had just died and I didn't want another dog. We had had Tag 11-1/2 years. Tag died a day after my mother died. But, Charles begged me to get Chloe and he even named her. After he died, Chloe was my comfort. I cried myself to sleep every night and she would lick my tears. Chloe was there for me every minute of every day while I grieved. I have had dogs all of my life, but I have to admit that Chloe is more spoiled than any dog I've ever had. I have loved every dog. You know you can be so upset and walk in the door and when that little dog is jumping up and down and so happy to see you, all the upsetting goes away. Yes, they are a lot of trouble. They require a lot of care. So many times, I wish Chloe could talk. And then again, I'm glad she can't. Oh the secrets she could tell about me. It's nice to have a friend that will never tell on you. National Dog Day is really National Friend Day for me. DR 8/26/15