My Life is Like a Song

Sometimes I feel like my life is like a song. Somebody will say something and I automatically think of a song. Seems so crazy, but I put so much humor in everything I do, it’s really just like me to have a song for everything I do. I can hear a song on the radio and I automatically think of a time and place in my life. Sometimes it’s a very good memory and sometimes it brings back a heartbreaking time in my life. When I was growing up, I don’t believe my mother or dad ever heard my voice. I had everything in my room—telephone (rotary), tv (black and white, by the way), my Voice of Music hi fi as it was called back then. We were so poor and I didn’t have a clue that we were. I felt rich because I had everything I needed. My mother gave me $3 a week, but I had to have supper on the table every night and keep the house clean. I also sewed aprons for my mother to sell to her fellow workers. I did a little bit of everything to make money. I also made all of my clothes from the time I was 10. When I got to high school the girls in my home economics class didn’t like to sew so I brought home lots of collars, or sleeves, whatever it was we were sewing at the time. I charged 25 cents per collar or sleeve. Looks like the teacher would have wondered why they all looked alike. When I talked on the telephone it was usually to help somebody with math, or some subject. I was so shy that if you looked at me I would turn blood red. I know, I know nobody believes that at all today. People wonder what happened to the person who never opened her mouth. I had to make a speech at our ninth grade commencement and I thought I would die. If I had an oral book report in English, I would throw up and throw up the night before. I just couldn’t do it. This remained to be the case for me in my adult years until I married Charles. I remember I had gone to Huntsville, AL for a big meeting where I was recognized for recruiting five women in one month into a company I was involved in. When I stood up and was going to speak, my mouth moved, but nothing came out. I was so embarrassed. I wanted to crawl under a table. I cried all the way home. Charles told me it was okay that I would stop being that way. He always told me how smart he thought I was and one time he even said, “you’re way smarter than I even thought.” He encouraged me and I guess all of his encouragement paid off—or maybe he just created a monster! I remember how afraid I was to do anything. I wanted to go to a big meeting in Dallas, TX called “Celebration” and Charles told me that I needed to go by myself. He told me if he went I would cling to him and not talk to anybody. So, I kept talking about having to fly to Dallas by myself and a woman that I worked with told me she would go with me to that thing in Dallas if we would go to Southfork. At that time the tv series “Dallas” was very popular. I told her yes we would go. I’ll never forget the look on Charles’ face when I got on that airplane. He knew that I had not slept for two weeks before that trip. My friend told me to close my eyes and hold her hand, that it would be all right. As soon as the airplane started down the runway and began takeoff, I started smiling and I told Cherry that I thought I was going to love to fly. I did become a frequent flyer. I flew to Dallas several years every six months—by myself. I loved to fly. Charles told me he was going to teach me to be independent and I believe he did a good job. I still have those times that I cringe inside, but nobody can tell. When I hear Kool and the Gang when they sing “Celebration”, yes it reminds me of my trips to Dallas. That was always the theme song. I think of the first time I flew to Dallas everytime I hear it. That trip was so exciting. I really believed that I could be up on that stage the next year and win a fur coat. I called Charles and told him and he got excited too. I was telling him what he wanted to hear. The next year I was on that stage. Nobody knew if I was in Top Ten or not, but I knew that Charles believed I would be. He told me when number 11 came out, he clapped, he shouted and another husband said, oh I bet you’re proud of your wife. Charles said, Hell no, my wife has won a fur coat. He said when number 10 came out, he thought she didn’t make it by the skin of her teeth, then number 9, and I was number 8 out of 50 states. I still have my Blue Fox Fur with my signature monogrammed on the inside. They had to stop giving furs because of so much controversy but to me it means a lot. It showed me that with persistence and encouragement, you can do anything. The time came that I gave that part of my life up and I got into real estate. I remember during the training I got into my car and called Charles and told him I just didn’t think that I could do this. I was crying. He calmly told me to put my car into gear and come home. He said I have invested a lot of money in you and you can do this. I’ve been in real estate since 1997. I have my broker’s license in both Tennessee and Georgia. I was even a Managing Broker at one time. I became the Managing Broker over a man who had owned and managed a real estate office for almost 40 years. I remember that first Christmas I gave him a thank you card for all the help he had given me. He came to my office and said that he had not done a thing. He told me that I was smart on my own and he would even ask me for advice. He will never know how much that meant to me. It was during that time that my life fell apart. The three people closest to me all got sick at the same time. Another story, another time. It seems my life with Charles was a time of learning. He was my teacher. I have many stories I can tell about him. He had that warped sense of humor that I tend to also have. He was not a people person. He was the kind of person that the more you were around him, the better you liked him. I knew the “real” Charles. Well, my life is still a song. I’m hearing new melodies. I look forward to each day now. I have the optimistic view that good things are going to happen. What songs am I hearing? Guess that will be for another time.