My Emotional Rollercoaster

I never thought that cleaning out my house would become so emotional for me. After all it has been over four years, and yet, it seems like only yesterday. I talked with Leon’s wife last night and she said she misses Leon more now than ever. I told her I miss him too. My emotions start as soon as I turn onto Suck Creek Road. Leon retired from the cement plant and his last job was driving a truck. I look over to my left and I can still see him, and I would always wave. Then when I stop at my mailbox, it’s so lonely now that my aunt is not there, and I look up the hill and I know that my cousins have all moved away. I have always come home and gone straight to my room. It has been my place of comfort. In there, nobody sees me when I cry—only Chloe. She is very sensitive to my crying. I’ve done good until now. Now, I’m getting into all of the things that I have so tried to avoid. I’ve had offers of help, but I really want to be alone with this new emotional rollercoaster I seemed to have gotten on. I know that I will be able to come out stronger. Everyone handles their grief differently, and I certainly never thought that I would be this way. I recorded some old Matlock programs and when the first one came on, I started thinking back to how I would hurry home so I could watch the current ones with my dad. He loved Matlock. I stayed in a little house behind theirs while Charles was in Kentucky during the week. I worked in Cleveland. My dad would turn on his police scanner as soon as he thought I was leaving work. I had to work until 7 p.m. and Matlock came on at 8. One night there was a lady in a gray sports car turned upside down at Hamilton Place. My dad was walking the floor. He just knew it was me. I drove a gray RX-7 Mazda. He was so relieved when I came through the door. Yes, I miss him. I miss my mother. I miss that I could pick up the phone and tell her something silly and we would both laugh. I played the song, Just One More Day, and if only I could have just one more day. I took so many things for granted. If you live long enough, you’ll see those closest to you die. Don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Treasure the moments you have with your family and your friends. Guess I’ll be on this emotional rollercoaster until I get out of here. I love it here. I have so many memories, but I need to move on and make new ones. DR 7/2/14