Things You Think About…..

It’s funny how your mind wanders, and  all of a sudden a memory comes flooding back to you.  I was just getting ready to go out and was putting on my cologne and suddenly thought about a conversation I had with Charles years ago.  I told him that someone told me that I always smell good.  I asked him if he had noticed and he said, you just always smell like Diane.  That was a compliment from him.  When I thought about that, I had to smile.  I miss him.

DR

11/7/11

EXCUSES

Lately I’ve been finding excuses for a lot of things.  What really brought that to my attention was this morning.  I have been “oversleeping” a lot on Sunday’s.  There have been different “legitimate” excuses, but this morning is almost unbelievable!  The time change is NEXT weekend, but my clock radio changed last night!  I woke up, and of course, I had overslept, but I thought if I hurry I can still make it to church.  I hurried to the kitchen to get my cup of coffee (I just can’t make it without my daily dose of caffeine) and all of my clocks were one hour later.  I thought, what the heck is going on?  I should have already left!  I checked my Iphone, computer, and all of the other “battery” operated clocks and they were all one hour later—only my clock radio had reset itself.  What do I do now?  The only thing I know to do—check my email, read the newspaper (especially the obit’s), and get updated on Facebook.

Well, that’s my “excuse” this morning and I’m sticking to it.

DR

10/30/11

WORDS

Have you ever thought about the words you use or call someone?

Today I went to see my dad and the new sitter was there with him. I could tell that she is a very caring person. She had just gotten his clean Depends and pants on and then changed his shirt. She washed his face and combed his hair and then she said, Ok Darlin’, let me help you up. I said, boy I bet you feel really pampered, and he said, “I do.” I then said, and especially these names they call you and my dad said, “but they don’t mean it.” I asked Henrietta if she heard what he said and she said yes and I do mean it. My dad grinned. Yes, he’s 89 and loving all the pampering he is getting.

We need to be so careful of how we treat others, and I’m so guilty about being so outspoken and the words just flow out of my mouth. But, I’m trying to “think” before I “speak.” Yes, I’ve had my feelings hurt over some “hurtful names” and it has made me stop and take account of myself. I need to be a better friend. I need to say comforting and helpful things and not say anything mean. Even if I’m kidding—I need to stop before something comes out that I will regret later. Sometimes I think I need to be like I was when I was a kid—never opening my mouth to say anything. My mother was of the opinion that “children should be seen and not heard” and I wasn’t about to dispute her opinion!

Everyday when I wake up, I realize that our time here on earth is so short. We need to live each day like it is our last—because the way people drive it could very well be our last! Be careful of the things you say. If someone is mean to you, maybe they’re just having a bad day. Those are the people you need to be especially kind to. We really don’t know the problems that someone else may be going through and when we ask, “how are you?”, do we really want to know…. I’m sure you have had the same experience that I have had when I answer, all of a sudden that person is not even looking at me anymore and I could walk away and they would never even notice.

Be good to somebody today. Call a friend today and tell them what they mean to you—that may be just the encouragement they need.

Dr
10/27/11

Detour

Detour

Last night I was on my way to Bible Study and traffic was backed up at the Ridge Cut—as usual. I really felt compelled to turn around and go to Hixson to hear Perry Stone. I’ve really never been a follower of Perry Stone, but I knew I had to go. I got off the interstate and headed back to Hixson. I am so glad that I went. His message was about being the “first born” child. I am a first born child—I am an only child. He also talked about widows—and yes, I am a widow. I can’t explain the message here, I only know that I needed to hear it.

How many times have we really “listened” to our inner voice and made a “detour”? I have done it before. One time I felt compelled to turn into the parking lot of a furniture store. That was the time that a man prayed over me and told me my husband would not have to have a heart transplant. At the time I thought the man was crazy. Two weeks later we were told that Charles didn’t need a heart transplant. For some unknown reason his heart was healing. I didn’t even know that man’s name. The next day I learned his name and he became a good friend. I even sold their home in Ringgold, GA. I’m still friends with him and his wife today. What if I had not heeded that still small voice?

Right now, I feel like a lost person trying to find my way again in the world. Patience has never been one of my virtues. I am learning to be happy in this new phase of my life. Yes, it gets lonely. I’m thankful that Charles insisted on me getting Chloe right after my Tag died. So many deaths in the month of March and he insisted on me getting a new little puppy. How could another puppy ever replace my Tag? Tag who always knew when I was sick and would lay on my stomach. That was the only time she would do that. How did Charles know that after he died that I would hold that little puppy close to me and cry and Chloe would lick my tears? No, Chloe did not take Tag’s place, she’s different. She’s actually more affectionate and stays right by my side. She wants my undivided attention. When someone calls me, I have to go out on the porch or close the door because she barks. She knows my daughter’s and son-in-law’s voice and “talks” to them on the phone. Yes, I know you think I’m crazy—but she has helped me this past year and a half.

What lies ahead? I don’t have any idea. Detours? I don’t know. I’ll just listen to that inner voice and go.

DR
10/20/11

My Dad Turned 89 Today

My dad turned 89 today. I have to admit that I had to drum up the nerve to go see him. This may be his last birthday we celebrate. He has had good days and bad days lately and I do worry about him. It is so hard to see your dad who was your defender all of your life to become so helpless. I know it has to be hard for him, but part of the beauty of growing old is that it doesn’t matter anymore. He just knows that he is being taken care of, being fed, and being kept clean.

I have so many memories of my dad—you see I was always a daddy’s girl. All of my life I thought my mother was the “bad” one. She was so rigid and my dad was the one I could talk to and be more comfortable with.

When my mother got so bad and I had to put her in the hospital and from there assisted living—my dad became very angry at me. I told him that I didn’t like the way things are either. It was so hard for either of us to handle. I can remember another time when my dad and I had a hard time coping. My mother had gone in for a colonoscopy and the doctor called in by her bed to tell us the results. I’ll never forget when the doctor said “cancer” and he had to operate immediately. My dad and I went to pieces and my mother sailed through the entire thing so calmly. They caught the cancer in time and she never had radiation or chemo. I asked my mother later how she was able to cope with the news of having cancer. Her answer to me was that she knew what she was coping with. She told me it’s the “unknown” that is hard to handle.

When my husband was dying of cancer, he was so happy and he told me that it was ok—that everybody has to take their own turn at dying. I know that we have to take our own turn, but it’s so hard for the people who are left behind.

I’ve had it pretty lucky all of my life. I was never around anyone whom I was really close to who died. A lot of my relatives died when I was a teenager and it’s really different when you’re that age. There’s not a day that goes by now that I don’t think of my husband and my mother. I miss both of them, but I also miss my dad as I remember him before he got in this condition.

Well, my dad was really in good spirits today. I gave him a birthday card with a cat on it that was a cross between Booger and Sparky (two cats he used to have) and on the inside the cat had given him a “hairball.” He laughed. My cousin Leon called and I put him on my speaker phone while he sang “Happy Birthday.” I asked my dad if he knew who that was and he said Leon with a big smile. You always smile when you get that birthday phone call from Leon! Saturday we’re going back—Christi and family and I are all going and I’m going to make one of my dad’s favorites—chocolate chiffon pie with whipped cream!

Happy Birthday Daddy

Dr, 8/18/11

Normal Day, Except...

Tuesday was a normal day—went to my office, had an appointment in Georgia, and then….

I got into my car and a strange light came on my dash. I looked at the radio area and it said to check my tire pressure. My left rear tire only had 22 pounds in it! I was close to Costco so I headed there. I’ve never dealt with them about tires, but I do shop there frequently since they opened. I drove to the side that said “Tire Center” and there were chains across each opening. I got out and asked a couple of workers if the tire center was already closed and they said no and the manager was right there talking to some other workers. I went over to ask him if someone could look at my tire. He said that normally you go through the front door but since I was already back here, pull a little closer to the building and he would get someone. He didn’t say it in a nice way. I told him that I didn’t know. A very nice guy came out and checked all of my tires and he said, yes you only have 22 pounds in this tire. He checked to see how much my tire was supposed to have and put in the air. I then parked in front and went in for about 45 minutes. He had 32 pounds of air in my tire. When I came out, it has 28 pounds of air. This time I went back inside to the tire center and the nice guy was there at the counter and I told him about my tire. He asked if my car was at the side and I told him no, but I would go get it. When he felt of my tire this time, he felt a nail. I asked him if he could fix it and he told me no BECAUSE IT WAS A NON COSTCO TIRE! I told him him that it was 7:30 p.m. and I live in Marion County, what was I going to do? He put 39 pounds of air in my tire and said that should get me home.

When I got off Signal Mountain Road I drove into WalMart’s tire center. I ran into the door and asked if I could get my tire fixed because it had a nail in it. They asked if I was the woman on the interstate with a nail in her tire and I laughed and said there must be another woman out there with the same problem. I learned later that my daughter had called and they said if I got there before 8 p.m. they would fix it. My son-in-law was trying to call me when I got to WalMart and I just didn’t have time to answer. I walked into WalMart at 5 minutes before 8 p.m.

I thanked God for WalMart and they didn’t refuse me because it was a NON WALMART tire! I was scared that I would have a wreck or blowout on the interstate. Something needs to change at Costco.

DR
7/14/11

Dreams

When I was growing up, I watched Perry Mason every week and I wanted to be “Perry Mason” when grew up. Life was so miserable at my house, that I couldn’t wait to graduate from high school and get out of there. The only problem was, back then girls didn’t leave home and get an apartment—it didn’t look right. So, I did the next thing—got married. I stayed married for 18 years and for all of those 18 years, I heard the comment “be content with what you have.” Well, I had nothing and I didn’t realize how miserable I really was. Dreams? I lost sight of that totally. I thought my life would always be the way it was.

I did always dream of having a baby. All of my friends were having babies, why couldn’t I? My husband and I went through many tests and I even took fertility pills. Another lady I worked with was also taking fertility pills and became pregnant. I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I stopped taking fertility pills. One night our pastor prayed about faith and I thanked God that he was going to give me a baby—I didn’t know how, when or where, but I knew that God would answer that prayer. The next night I prayed for a brown haired, blue eyed little girl. God answered that prayer! I do believe in miracles and I have been the mother of that brown haired blue eyed little girl for 40 years. She has blessed me with two wonderful grandsons.

The worst time in my life was when I went through a divorce after 18 years of marriage. That was a very dark period for me and I lost sight of any dreams whatsoever. I found a little magnet that said, “It’s never too late to become what you could have been.” I still have that magnet. I remarried and I have to say that the 25-1/2 years I spent with Charles were the most wonderful years of my life. He taught me new words—instead of “problems”, they became “challenges”. He told me I am smart. He built me up all of the time. I was raised in a very negative family and he pointed me toward positive thoughts and actions. I began to have dreams again.

I feel now that I am too old to become “Perry Mason”, but I have learned that I have many talents and I try to use them.

The reason I’m even writing this about “dreams” is because I attended a meeting last night about the new Dream Center at The Crossing. This Dream Center is going to help others recapture the dreams that they lost and feel that they can’t recapture. I want to help others find the happiness in finding their dreams again like I have. Right now, I’m searching for what lies ahead for me. My plan was to live the rest of my days with Charles, but that didn’t happen. He was my great love and the best example of a Christian I could have had in my life. He helped me work my way back to my Christian life.

Just remember, “It’s never too late to become what you could have been.”

DR
7/8/11