Regrets

I had a hard time trying to get a title to this. I think everyone has some regrets over some things that have happened in their lives. My regrets go back many years. Some I can’t share openly because of the people who might read about them. I can only say that my life could be totally different from what it is today. I decided about this time last year to start living again. I think I could have stared at my four walls for the rest of my life. I don’t know what influenced me to change. I know that when Sabra asked me to go to Florida with her, it was a definite turning point. She rented a red Mustang convertible for us to drive down. I asked her why did she do that and she replied, you need to start having fun again! That week was actually a working week, but also one of so much fun. I realized how much I loved the beach and getting up every morning and sitting on the deck with my cup of coffee watching the waves and the sunrise. It amazes me at God’s handiwork. I also decided in the following months that I didn’t want to be alone the rest of my life. I didn’t know what a surprise I was in for. It seems the ones I like don’t want me and the ones I don’t want, want me. I guess that’s life. So here I sit on Saturday night all by myself. I know that there has to be someone out there just for me. So far my very best friend is my dog Chloe. Oh, I know my daughter and grandsons love me, but they’re not here when I get home. So, I made several decisions last year. I’m doing pretty good with those decisions and now I am making more. I have decided to work again. Boy, that has been an eye opener. I am learning all over again the streets and how to do everything, but I love it. Who knows, maybe that tall, dark stranger will walk into my life and want to buy a house. I do know that staying in this house all of the time isn’t going to do it. I believe they would have to fall out of the sky and I don’t see anything like that happening. Have I had some hurts this year? Yes, and I think the older we get, the more we hurt. Am I happy? Yes, I am totally happy with my life. I am so thankful that I had a husband who taught me how to take care of myself. Maybe when I write next year when all of these memories come flooding back, I’ll be telling a totally different story. The verse that keeps coming to me is Jeremiah 29:11. God keeps reminding me that he has plans for me…. As I told someone a long time ago, God expects us to put legs on our prayers. They’re not going to be answered just by sitting and waiting for things to drop into our lap. Yes, I’m open to new opportunities. Just because I’ve had a few doors to close doesn’t mean there aren’t some doors that are going to open wide for me. I’m expecting wonderful things to happen this year! DR 3/2/13