Make a List of Everything You Want.....

When I was in junior high school, my dad told me one Christmas to make a list of what I wanted. I thought I would give him plenty of choices, so I filled an entire notebook page. When Christmas came, he had bought me everything on that list—down to the last detail. Boy, did my mother get mad, but I was overjoyed. One thing he bought me that I still have is a ring with my birthstone—a white sapphire with two diamonds in a white 14 karat gold setting. It’s still as pretty today as it was then. We didn’t have a car until I was in high school. My dad rode the bus to town every Saturday. He always bought me a book. He knew I loved mysteries and it was always a Nancy Drew or Trixie Beldon mystery. Back then they were only 50 cents, but compared to today I’m sure that was a lot of money. I had a lot of pen pals, close to a hundred, and one day he came home and told me that I would need to cut down my list a lot. Stamps had gone up to 3 cents. I’m really telling my age now. I started thinking about my dad because three years ago he died on December 21. He had a stroke on December 10 and was paralyzed on his left side, couldn’t talk, drink, or eat. He laid like that until he died. It was a terrible thing to watch him die. He had opted to not have any artificial feeding devices. Before he died, I held his hand and thanked him for always being there for me. My mother was the one who disciplined me, and my dad was my defender. I thanked him for rubbing my legs when they hurt. I thanked him for doing my “chores” when I got sick. My mother worked from 3 to 11 each day and my dad worked from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m., so I was with my dad a lot. I remember one time when I was playing outside with my tricycle and my little red wagon and my dad was sitting on the porch watching me. He was sitting in a straight backed chair leaning back against the wall. I kept begging him to take me somewhere. I can’t remember where. He finally gave in and when we came back a man had had a heart attack and his car ran into the side of the porch where he had been sitting and across the sidewalk where my tricycle and wagon were. The car had demolished everything. I guess we were supposed to keep on living. When I stood there holding his hand and talking to him, the tears rolled down his face, he couldn’t say a word. When I finished, Christi took his hand and told him some thank you’s also. I’ve been going through some videos and on them were my mother, dad, and Charles in healthier times. It was so good to see and hear them again. It just doesn’t help fill this hole I have inside of missing them. Hug your family and tell them how much you love them. Christmas isn’t all about things, it’s being with family and friends and celebrating the real reason for Christmas, the birth of Jesus. DR 12/18/14

If

I’ve said that word so many times. “If” I could go back in time, “if” only I had done things differently. Now, I say, “if” only I could hear his voice again or “if” I could just see him one more time. Well, I got my chance. I’m going through some old videos. I wanted to put the videos of the construction of my house on a dvd. Imagine my surprise when I suddenly saw Charles again. Charles looking like he used to. Charles talking like he used to. No, I didn’t cry. For some reason, looking at all of these old videos gave me a peace that I cannot explain. Nancy was here with me watching. I popped in a video of one of our old family reunions. Yes, there was my mother and dad. Oh, I so miss the way they were. I miss going to their house. I miss taking my mother to Hamricks. I miss seeing my dad in his recliner. I miss my mother’s cooking. There are dishes that nobody will ever be able to copy, including me. I miss Charles sitting beside me in the computer room. I still find it hard to come in here. I miss seeing Charles walking back and forth between his two workshops. The last clock he made for me was during his time on Hospice. He could barely move. I asked him why is he doing this? He looked at me and said, “I don’t want you to ever forget me.” I told him then that I could never forget him. He was an amazing man. He taught me so much. He taught me to be independent. But, he didn’t teach me how to not be lonely. Of course, I have Chloe. She takes my mind off a lot of things. We take for granted the times that we spend with the people we love. There were so many on the reunion tape who are now dead. It was so good to see them again. Well, I can’t live with the “if’s” anymore. It looks like my future is my new beginning—my starting fresh. The only thing that I hate is that I’m “alone.” But, I do think that Charles would be proud of how much he really did teach me. DR 11/17/14

Tires

I don’t know what my problem is with tires. Nails just seem to find my tires, and for some reason I lose air out of my tires. The other night I came home rather late, pulled up to my mailbox, and I got a note that told me to check my tire pressure. When one of my tires gets to 26 pounds, the light comes on. My left front tire was at 26 pounds. As a matter of fact, all of my tires were under 30 pounds each. So, at almost midnight, I’m in my garage blowing my tires up. I knew that the next day I would be heading to Dayton to attend a wedding. The next day was rainy and foggy. I was all dressed up for the wedding, went out to my garage, started my engine, and guess what? I got a note to check my tire pressure. I couldn’t believe it. When I checked it, the left front tire only had 16 pounds of air. How could a tire lose that much air in just a few hours???? The other tires were the same as the night before. I got my air pressure pump out of the trunk, and pumped my tire up again. I didn’t even put it back into the trunk. I kept the dialog screen on all the way to Dayton. My tires were perfect. They were also perfect when I got back into my car to go home. To be honest, I’m afraid to go check them today. If, they are low again, I guess NTB will be seeing me again tomorrow. Thank goodness I always insure my tires. Sometimes I think I should buy cheap tires instead of the expensive ones. DR 7/20/14

My Emotional Rollercoaster

I never thought that cleaning out my house would become so emotional for me. After all it has been over four years, and yet, it seems like only yesterday. I talked with Leon’s wife last night and she said she misses Leon more now than ever. I told her I miss him too. My emotions start as soon as I turn onto Suck Creek Road. Leon retired from the cement plant and his last job was driving a truck. I look over to my left and I can still see him, and I would always wave. Then when I stop at my mailbox, it’s so lonely now that my aunt is not there, and I look up the hill and I know that my cousins have all moved away. I have always come home and gone straight to my room. It has been my place of comfort. In there, nobody sees me when I cry—only Chloe. She is very sensitive to my crying. I’ve done good until now. Now, I’m getting into all of the things that I have so tried to avoid. I’ve had offers of help, but I really want to be alone with this new emotional rollercoaster I seemed to have gotten on. I know that I will be able to come out stronger. Everyone handles their grief differently, and I certainly never thought that I would be this way. I recorded some old Matlock programs and when the first one came on, I started thinking back to how I would hurry home so I could watch the current ones with my dad. He loved Matlock. I stayed in a little house behind theirs while Charles was in Kentucky during the week. I worked in Cleveland. My dad would turn on his police scanner as soon as he thought I was leaving work. I had to work until 7 p.m. and Matlock came on at 8. One night there was a lady in a gray sports car turned upside down at Hamilton Place. My dad was walking the floor. He just knew it was me. I drove a gray RX-7 Mazda. He was so relieved when I came through the door. Yes, I miss him. I miss my mother. I miss that I could pick up the phone and tell her something silly and we would both laugh. I played the song, Just One More Day, and if only I could have just one more day. I took so many things for granted. If you live long enough, you’ll see those closest to you die. Don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Treasure the moments you have with your family and your friends. Guess I’ll be on this emotional rollercoaster until I get out of here. I love it here. I have so many memories, but I need to move on and make new ones. DR 7/2/14

Emotional Rollercoaster

I never thought that cleaning out my house would become so emotional for me. After all it has been over four years, and yet, it seems like only yesterday. I talked with Leon’s wife last night and she said she misses Leon more now than ever. I told her I miss him too. My emotions start as soon as I turn onto Suck Creek Road. Leon retired from the cement plant and his last job was driving a truck. I look over to my left and I can still see him, and I would always wave. Then when I stop at my mailbox, it’s so lonely now that my aunt is not there, and I look up the hill and I know that my cousins have all moved away. I have always come home and gone straight to my room. It has been my place of comfort. In there, nobody sees me when I cry—only Chloe. She is very sensitive to my crying. I’ve done good until now. Now, I’m getting into all of the things that I have so tried to avoid. I’ve had offers of help, but I really want to be alone with this new emotional rollercoaster I seemed to have gotten on. I know that I will be able to come out stronger. Everyone handles their grief differently, and I certainly never thought that I would be this way. I recorded some old Matlock programs and when the first one came on, I started thinking back to how I would hurry home so I could watch the current ones with my dad. He loved Matlock. I stayed in a little house behind theirs while Charles was in Kentucky during the week. I worked in Cleveland. My dad would turn on his police scanner as soon as he thought I was leaving work. I had to work until 7 p.m. and Matlock came on at 8. One night there was a lady in a gray sports car turned upside down at Hamilton Place. My dad was walking the floor. He just knew it was me. I drove a gray RX-7 Mazda. He was so relieved when I came through the door. Yes, I miss him. I miss my mother. I miss that I could pick up the phone and tell her something silly and we would both laugh. I played the song, Just One More Day, and if only I could have just one more day. I took so many things for granted. If you live long enough, you’ll see those closest to you die. Don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Treasure the moments you have with your family and your friends. Guess I’ll be on this emotional rollercoaster until I get out of here. I love it here. I have so many memories, but I need to move on and make new ones. DR 7/2/14

Moving On

Today Charles’ tools and equipment started being moved out. I thought I could handle it, because it has been over four years since he died. For the first two years, I couldn’t even enter either of his two workshops. He spent so much time in both of them. Even now I can see him walking from one workshop to the other one. He finished his last clock for me in January before he died in March. I don’t know how he did it. I asked him why was he working so hard on another clock, and his response to me was, “I don’t want you to ever forget me.” How could I ever forget him. This is the man that before we got married, I told him there are two things I didn’t want in her marriage vows. He asked me what? I told him I would never be submissive and I would never obey. He looked at me and said, “I want you to learn to be independent and do things on your own.” Not only did he give me my freedom, but he did teach me how to be independent. Plus, it was easy to be submissive and obey, because we both took our marriage as 50/50. Toward the end of his last days, it felt like Christmas almost everyday. As long as he could order online, the Fed Ex and UPS trucks kept our driveway hot. He tried to get me everything that I had ever mentioned. The one thing that I did not want was the convertible. My Honda Accord was almost new. I didn’t want another car. But he insisted. He wanted me to have a “fun car.” I can tell you it wasn’t fun for me until two years after he died. I heard the song, “Man I feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain and it made me feel happy. I had not had that feeling in a long, long time. I got my cousin next door and we made many trips with the top down, and each time we came home, I would say, “Thank you Charles for my fun car.” I know he must be smiling and saying, “Finally she’s getting her act together and getting out of that house.” He so wanted me to sell this house that we built together. Well, all I can say is that it is still emotionally hard for me to still say goodbye. Today I felt like part of my life was going down that driveway. But I have started moving on. DR 6/18/14

Jonathan

Last night my youngest grandson graduated from high school. Boy, how the years fly by. I was sitting beside his girlfriend, whom I really like. The memories came flooding back. Seems like just yesterday when he was born. We had one of the biggest snows that week. He was so little and cute. Now, he’s all grown up and has been accepted into the Marines. I asked his girlfriend how she felt about him leaving, and she said, “I’m proud of him, whatever he does.” I think he’s found the right one. The next graduation will be from basic training. Jonathan seems to know what he wants in life. He’s always so serious. Sometimes I can get him to loosen up, especially when I take him for a ride with the top down in my car. I couldn’t help but think last night, it has just been a few months since my 50th high school reunion. I wonder what will happen in Jonathan’s life the next 50 years. I hope he makes good choices. I made some good ones and some really bad ones. The thing is, how you end up. Those bad choices can actually make you a better, stronger person. I wish Jonathan all the success in life he deserves. I hope to live to see some of it. DR 5/23/14

Mother's Day - 2014

Today I have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day. I thought my mother would always be here. I guess we all feel that way until the day comes that they leave us. My mother was a good woman and I have many memories. I am an only child and my mother was very protective of me. Should I say “over protective”? I really don’t remember this very well but my mother told me that we were in Miller Brothers downtown and she was looking at the ladies dresses. I must have been about 4. She said I hid in between some dresses hanging on a rack and when she came over, I threw the dresses back and yelled “Mammy.” Needless to say, we had a long talk about what I should call her. I never called her that again. I remember the first day of school when I went to first grade. Most of the kids were crying and clinging to their mothers. My mother said I looked up at her and said, “Don’t you have some place you need to go?” My mother told me whatever I did I had better not get on the merry-go-round on the playground at school. Well, you guessed it, I did. Not only did I get on, but I was dragged around. I was skinned, bleeding, and bruised all over. Back then they didn’t take you to the emergency room, you just washed off the blood. My mother worked at night so when I got home from school I told my daddy and I told him she would kill me. He was always my protector from her. I heard her that night when she came home. My daddy told her what had happened and of course she wanted to punish me. He told her I had been punished enough. He said I don’t think she’ll go anywhere near that merry-go-round again. Escaped again! You guessed it, my mother was the discipline person. I really can’t remember my dad ever laying a hand on me. My mother and I had a love/hate relationship for a long time, but at some point we became really good friends. I could get upset with something and call her and we would talk about it until I got it out of my system. I miss that. So many times I’ve wanted to call her and just hear her voice again. Well, this is life as we know it here. I’m happy that I’ll see her again and there will be no more tears in Heaven. DR 5/11/14

Another One?

Tomorrow I celebrate another birthday. I feel torn between I’m glad I’m alive and oh I’m getting so old! I have a couple of birthdays that I remember very vividly. The only birthday I had trouble with was when I turned 25. I was so upset that my mother told me she would never wish me happy birthday again. Now, that’s getting pretty bad! I don’t know why the hangup on that age, only that I thought I would never have any children. But thankfully after my 26th birthday, Christi was born. She was born on Friday before Mother’s Day and it was the best Mother’s Day ever. The next birthday I remember was when I turned 50. I was born 45 minutes after President Franklin Roosevelt died, so I just knew there had to be something special at The Little White House in Warm Springs, Georgia. Charles and I packed us a lunch and we headed there. It was a good thing I packed us food, because once the word that President Bill Clinton was going to be there, no one could leave. It was so exciting that there were thousands of people were there. I got frisked and the contents of my purse was emptied. I set off the alarms because I had on too much metal. Ex President Jimmy Carter was there and of course tons of Democrats. My 50th birthday was really special to me. That also reminds me of the time Charles’ mother first met me. Charles was 14 years older than me and she was curious about my age. She didn’t know the age difference, but she knew there was one. I told her I was born 45 minutes after President Roosevelt died. She looked at me, and then said, “Teddy”? I said, “No, Franklin.” Boy, that would have made me really old. We’ve always made a big deal out of our birthdays. I look back and I can’t believe I’ve made it to this age. No, I’m not telling. You’ll have to figure it out. It’s in all the history books. I still feel like I’m still young and I can remember my teenage days like it was yesterday. I am reminded of something Charles said and it applies to me also. He was on a Pool League with a bunch of really young guys one time. Charles said he felt just like one of them until he passed by a mirror. Yeah, the mirror tells it all. Birthdays—I am thankful for each one of them. DR 4/11/14

Really???

Today would have been my mother and dad’s 71st anniversary. I would like to picture them having that celebration in heaven, but we don’t really know how we will be after this life. But, it’s a pleasant thought for me. I started thinking back to something that happened many years ago. We had moved and I told our new neighbor that my parents were married on April 5th and I was born one week later. The neighbor told my mother what I had said, now remember I was just a little kid, and my mother nearly died. She said what Diane failed to tell you is that it was 2 years and one week later. My dad always told me that the day I was born he had two major disappointments. Both happened at the hospital. The first was that the doctor came out and told my dad that our president was dead. Yes, I was born 45 minutes after President Franklin Roosevelt died. The second disappointment was that the doctor came out and told my dad he had a girl. I guess every dad wants a son, but what my dad didn’t know at the time was how attached we would be. I was a daddy’s girl. My dad always took up for me no matter what I did. I don’t ever remember him ever spanking me or ever saying a critical word to me. My mother was the one to be feared. It’s a lonely life to be an only child, but my mother always told me that someday I would thank her for not giving me brothers and sisters. I think she said that because she was the oldest of twelve. I did grow up with aunts and uncles closer to my age, and I’m still close to one aunt who is the same age as me. She is as close to sister as I will ever know. I lived by a cousin a year younger than me, and he felt more like a brother than I’ll ever know, and now he’s gone. I like to picture him entering Heaven and my husband and my mother and dad saying, “Welcome home.” Someday we will all be together, but in the meantime, I want to spend as much time with the people I love and do all the things that I can cram in before I can’t. Tell somebody today how much you care about them—they might not be here tomorrow. DR 4/5/14

Chantilly Lace

As I clean on my house this rainy Saturday morning, I’m listening to the oldies. Chantilly Lace just came on and brought a smile to my face. Guess I’ll never get over the memories I have with Charles. We were exact opposites in a lot of things and one of them was our music. He was classical all the way. Of course, he loved some blues and I have so many cd’s of music that I’m not really fond of. When he would load our cd player at home, he would put on a classical and then an oldie. It was a lot of fun to see him singing my songs, even though he knew how to change the words that they became pornographic at times. He really thought I was the only one who loved those songs until we were in New Jersey somewhere and they were playing all the oldies. He had heard them so much from me he knew the words. He looked at me and said, they’re playing your songs. I just had to laugh. Those were the times I could tell our age difference, but he was so good to accept my likes, and I became a fan of classical. My favorite is Mozart. Charles used to copy my cd’s so if something damaged that cd, I would still have the original. He made his own labels and most of them said things like “made by your loving husband, or I love you,” Glad I still have all of them. Yeah, I’m spoiled. He especially liked the song that started out, Hello Darlin. Finally, the fun memories are coming back. DR 3/29/14

Life Goes On

On this day four years ago my life changed forever. I had never been alone in my life. The first 18 years I lived with my parents. The next 18 years I was married. Even when I divorced I still had Christi. But then when Charles died, I was all alone. I thought I knew what it would be like. I used to sit in the living room while Charles was still alive but so sick, and think, this is what it will be like when he’s gone. I didn’t have a clue. Until you are in that situation, you cannot even come close to imagining what it will be like. I can tell you this though, life goes on. It took me two years of sitting and staring at the walls, but when my dad died, I realized that I am still alive. What do I do now? The first time I went to Sam’s after my mother and Charles died, I just stood there. What do I buy? I always came to get Ensure and diapers. What do I want? What do I need? Do I need to even be here? Charles had told me that one day I would be alone because he was 14 years older than me and he was closer to my mother and dad’s age and he said that all three of them would be gone and I needed to think about what I would do. Of course, I tried to put that out of my mind, but it really happened. Who would have known they would all three get sick at the same time and then my mother would die only two weeks before Charles. I’ve had people say that they think I’m a strong person. I’m not. I did the things that I had to do. I can say that Charles taught me to be independent. I’m so thankful for that. He just didn’t tell me how lonely and sad I would be. This year it has been especially hard for me again. Last year I thought I was handling it so much better, but I have had a relapse. With someone so close to me dying again, it has sent me into a tail spin. I’ll be ok. I know I will bounce back. I know that I will once again think of all the good times. Today I am at home. This is where I want to be today. I want to be here and be alone. I’m being busy trying to get my house ready to be put on the market. I look around and I see everything that we did to build this house. After Charles got so sick the first time I did some of the wiring and the insulation and I painted the upstairs and the downstairs. When I got ready to do the downstairs, I called my mother and she came and stayed a few days and helped me. I see Charles everywhere in this house. It will be so hard to leave here, but I know I need to. Charles begged me before he died to sell. He told me that it was too much for me to take care of. I did ok as long as Leon was alive and helped me. Now he’s gone too. All his family is moving. Yes, life goes on. DR 3/22/14

Picture This.....

If you ever watched “The Golden Girls”, you would hear Sophia start all of her stories like this. So picture this. The year is 1995. Charles and I just sold our house on Lookout Mountain and we moved to a rental house on Suck Creek Mountain. Charles was so excited because he was going to build our house. He said it would probably be his last and it was. It turned out that the winter of 1995-1996 was a bad one. He stood out in the cold and rain waiting for the different contractors, and he got really sick in January 1996. The doctor was treating him for the flu. It turned out to be a virus that had attacked his heart. I’ll not go into detail here, but our house was half finished and we were living in rent and I was told that Charles was dying. Anyway to the good part. Charles lived because of a miracle from God and we moved into the house. We only moved in the upper level. I really didn’t think that Charles would live to see the completion of this house. We moved into it in October 1996. I guess around February 1997 Charles asked me what I wanted to do now. I had not been able to work because of his illness, and he suggested that I get my real estate license. So in April 1997 I became licensed in Tennessee. I was really scared. My first clients wanted to look at $300,000-$400,000 homes. I’m sure today that number would be much more. I was on my way to meet them, and I called Charles to tell him I was about to throw up. I told him I felt like I was more of a $50,000 woman instead of such a high number. Charles responded to me, “Diane, you are going to see some of the most beautiful houses you have ever seen. You have the key. Open the door and just enjoy.” I never thought about it that way. I did and my first house I sold was $375,000.00. I miss hearing Charles’ point of view on things. I guess you could say, he marched to a different drummer—but it worked for me. DR 3/16/14

I've Led Three Lives

This was the title of my “icebreaker” speech at Toastmasters. In summary, my first life was Diane German when I lived at home with my parents. I was there 18 years. Then I married and became Diane Gasaway. I had that “name” for 20 years. I divorced after 18 years. I married again and my name is still Diane Rizzo. I was married 25-1/2 years when Charles died. I was Charles’ secretary and quite frankly, I was not attracted to him. I thought he was a ladies man, but I did know that he knew where all the “singles” places were. We always walked to the parking lot together after work and as a result, he told me about all of his girlfriends. He felt very safe talking to me since I was married and was also a preacher’s wife. He told me he was devastated when I came in and announced that I was getting a divorce. I told everyone I worked with to not ask me any questions because I did not want to talk about it. Charles thought I had a perfect marriage because he said I was the only person he had ever worked with who never said anything bad about their spouse. He said he just thought wow, if Diane couldn’t make it, there is no hope for me. Of course, Charles was never, ever going to get married again. He had been married for 25 years and had been divorced quite a while. Before my divorce was final, I asked him if he would take me to some single’s places and he said he would. Charles became my best friend. I knew that none of his girlfriends ever lasted over six months, so when we started seeing each other, I began the countdown. Six months came and went and so did seven, eight, nine, and we actually went together two and half years before we got married. Everyone we worked with came to our wedding because they said they had to see it to believe it. They just couldn’t believe that Charles would actually show up. I remember Charles asking me before we ever started going together—on one of our walks to the parking lot—if I had ever fallen madly in love. I answered with the question, have you? He said no and that he would really like to experience that. I can say that we did fall madly in love and we stayed that way until the day he died four years ago. I miss you Charles everyday. DR 3/15/14

Fun Days

We all need fun days to get away from all of the stress of everyday life. I had a definite fun day on Sunday. I really debated on whether to get up and make the trip. After all, we had to spring forward the night before and I had to get up on Sunday morning no later than 5 a.m. This is really hard for someone who is definitely not a “morning” person. My alarm went off, and usually my dog, Chloe, starts her usual barking to be let out. This time she just looked at me like the time was all wrong and that I was crazy for getting up and staggering to the kitchen to get my morning coffee. She stayed in bed for another hour. I got to see the morning sunrise and it was beautiful. I was off to parts I’ve never been before, and I was getting excited. First was breakfast at Cracker Barrel and then to Helen, Georgia. I’ve heard so much about this quaint little town, but it was like going back in time. If you’ve never been, please go. It is really worth the trip. On the way back home, we stopped at Amicalola Falls. I love waterfalls. To really see the falls you need to walk up the side of the mountain on a paved trail and also steps. There are five levels. I’m so out of shape I only made it to level 2. I plan to go back and make it to the top. Even at level 2 the view was breathtaking. After regaining my breath and getting back down to the car, it was time to go home. Thank goodness for Google Maps and the little woman’s voice that guided me back to the interstate after I got my car. Yesterday was a wonderful way to get rid of the past week’s stress, and to know that there are so many beautiful things in this world that God has put here for us to love and enjoy. I can truly face whatever crazy things happen in this coming week. DR 3/10/14

Time Flies

Sometimes I think time flies and then again, I think it really drags. When I was a kid growing up, I thought I would never get old enough to leave home. Looking back, I wish I had done a lot of things differently. But, the choices I have made through the years have made me who I am today. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I am thankful that I have a wonderful daughter and eventually I found the love of my life. But, tonight I am thinking about what happened four years ago. It took me a while to think back to the good times I had with my mother. She was sick for a good while—really a lot longer than I thought because we all kept making excuses for some of her behavior. But, to the good stuff—when I was a little girl my mother and I went to town every Saturday. We didn’t have a car until I was in high school, so we always rode the bus. I can remember eating at Miller Brothers in the cafeteria and I would always get meatloaf, creamed potatoes, rolls, and sweet tea. It was so good I can even taste it now, and I’m not even a fan of meatloaf today. I remember my mother telling me the story of one time we were in the ladies dresses and I hid in a rack of dresses. When my mother got right in front of me I threw the dresses back and yelled “Mammy.” Well, you can guess what happened next. You can believe I never called her Mammy again. I can’t even picture me doing something like that. I was a very shy little girl. If you spoke to me I would turn red. I guess a lot of it had to do with my mother constantly telling me that children should be seen and not heard. I really don’t think she knew what my voice even sounded like. My mother taught me how to cook and sew. She always made my dresses and she was really good. I usually got a “store bought” dress for my birthday and since my birthday is in April, it was always my “Easter” outfit. She always bought me shoes to match. When I became a teenage I wore spike heels and I always wore a hat at Easter. It was the thing to do back then. My dad always bought me a corsage for Easter and Mother’s Day. When I was about 10 years old, my mother stopped sewing for me because I started making all of my clothes. When I took home ec I already knew how to sew and I would come home with a bag full of collars or sleeves to sew for the other girls in my class. I think they paid me a quarter to do theirs. Wonder why the teacher couldn’t see they all looked alike? My mother would take things that I made to work to sell. She had to wear a certain kind of apron and so the ladies she worked with always bought my aprons. Guess I’m telling off about my domestic side. I have a lot of people fooled that think I don’t cook or sew, but I used to be very much the home body. When I married Charles I told him that after my divorce I had decided to never sew again. Well he got a hole in one of his pockets in a pair of pants. He put the pants on the ledge of the stairs. The next week he pulled the pocket out. The next week the pocket had a note with an arrow pointing to the hole. The next week he took his pants to my mother and he told her that he really believed that I would never sew again and could she fix it, and she did. I had a good mother and I can’t believe that she’s gone. Today it has been four years since she left this earth. I miss you, Mother. DR 3/6/14

The Licking Machine

When you’re snowed in, you have a lot of time to reflect on things. My mind takes me back a long time ago when Charles and I were doing a lot of mailouts. The worse thing we had to do was sealing the envelopes. He told me that there was some sort of ceramic wheel we could buy. We went to T. H. Payne downtown (now you know it was a long time ago) and every other place we could think of. I’m pretty sure it was before Office Depot and some of the office supply places we depend on today Every where we went, no one understood what we were looking for. Charles had described it as best that he could. He didn’t know the proper name for it. Well, we had just about given up when we passed by Brainerd Village. Charles whipped into the parking lot and said he wanted to see if Lanham’s Bible Book Store would have it. I told him that I was tired of looking and I would wait in the car. In a few minutes he came back out looking a little strange. I asked him what had happened. He said he thought he had said the wrong thing in the book store. I asked him what on earth he could have said in there. He said, “Well, there was a counter over in the bridal part of the store and he asked if they had a ‘licking machine.’” He said the lady looked at him and said very abruptly, “we don’t carry anything like that in here.” Of course, I started dying laughing. I told him that this was one time I was really glad that I had stayed in the car. DR 2/12/14

So Very Thankful

The last few weeks for me have seemed to be full of challenges. I don’t know about you, but it seemed like everything that I touched or had a hand in, turned out all wrong. I’ve been so very thankful that even during the low temperatures, my heat continued to be on, and also the electricity. I woke up a couple of days ago and I thought, wow, I’m cold. Yep, my central heat unit was dead as a door nail. I called the man who put it in, and of course, could not reach him. Then out of the blue, Mike called. I had called him to come do a few things around my house to get it ready to be put on the market. He told me he was on his way. When he got here, I told him I had done all I knew to do to check my heating unit. He checked a few things and then, evidently he has an inside line to the electrician. Pete told him to check a few other things and Mike got my heat back on. I told Mike that God had sent him just when I needed him. Mike told me the things that I needed to get for the work I wanted done, and so I called Debbie and Kristin and asked them if they would like to go with me. I went out to the garage and got in my truck and my battery was dead. I sat there and just laughed. God, you really do have a sense of humor. I called Debbie and she said she would pick me up. Leon had gotten a new truck just a few months before he got sick, and I had never gotten to ride in it. God really works in mysterious ways. DR 2/6/14