Independence Day

Yesterday I was in the doctor’s office and I was very relaxed and started thinking about Independence Day. The thought that came to my mind was a conversation with Charles before we got married. I told him there were two things that I did not want in our vows—I would never be submissive and I would not ever obey. He looked at me and said, “I want you to learn to be independent and learn to do things on your own.” I can truly say he taught me how to be independent. As I was thinking about this, a song started playing. I had not paid any attention to the music that was playing, it was all instrumental and none of the music was familiar to me until this one started playing, it was Lord of the Dance. This was Charles’ favorite song. I couldn’t control the tears. I felt like he was with me again. Just when you think you have control of your emotions, something like this happens again. I had not heard that song since he died. Why did it come on at that exact moment? I can’t explain it. I’m thankful that I have such wonderful memories. I could not have made it if Charles had not taught me to be independent. I just wish I had listened more. He told me that I would realize after he was gone just how much he really loved me. I thought I knew while he was living, but as always, he was right again. I look around and realize he really did love me. I feel lucky and blessed because some people will never have what I had and at the time I didn’t even realize what I had. God blessed me with a wonderful man who truly gave me my independence. He let me be me. If you knew me years ago, you will remember the person that I was—very shy and unsure of myself. Charles encouraged me. He told me I was smart and he meant it. One time he said, you’re way smarter than I even thought. I had to laugh. Yes, I still miss him. But, he also taught me that I can be me, even without him. Thank you Charles for giving me the chance to be “just me.” DR