It's Tax Time Again

Today my CPA called me and I told him that I was getting ready to call him to set up an appointment for my 2010 taxes. He told me he was doing my 2009 taxes and they will be ready next week. Now, let me explain what has happened. Last year I had an appointment and I completely forgot it because my mother’s funeral was on that day. Then two weeks later Charles died. I had so many things to do, I remembered in September of 2010. I took him all my stuff. He told me not to worry because I didn’t owe anything.

Today he told me he had a hard time looking over our taxes because he just can’t believe that Charles is gone. He always looked forward to seeing Charles come in because he would be so funny. I shared with David how happy Charles was to die and he wanted me to be happy and have fun after he was gone. I told him that Charles had tried to have things repaired and he also kept ordering me things that I would say that I would like to have. The UPS and FedEx drivers kept our driveway hot until Charles wasn’t able to get into the computer and order anything else. David told me that he sees a lot of couples and he could truly say that Charles really loved me and I was Charles’ crown jewel. You know, Charles always told me how much he loved me and that I had no concept of how much that was. I can say now, looking back, that he did love me more than I had ever realized.

I’ve had a rough few days because every month on the 22nd, I think of him. Now it has been 10 months. How the time has flown and yet it has crept along. Yes, I have made it and yes, I know I’m all right. No, I don’t like this new life, but I have adjusted. I’m not a quitter and I know that life is just different. Charles taught me a long time ago that we face a lot of life’s challenges and it’s how we deal with them or if we can correct them. This life without my soulmate is just something I’m learning to deal with. I actually like living alone. Well, I’m not completely alone. I have this little Yorkie who drives me insane sometimes. I’m so glad that Charles insisted on getting her. When I’m sad she acts like she understands. Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but animals do have instincts. She has even licked my tears and that makes me laugh.

I read on Facebook today about someone who would like to go back in their lifetime and be at a time period when they thought they were happiest. Yes, I would love to go back too, but we learn with each new experience. We are who we are with each decision that we make—whether it ‘s a good choice or a bad choice. We can’t go back—we can only go forward.

Well, it’s tax time again.

Dr
1/24/11