Yes I Can

Actually I was going to put the title of this as my California trip, but it became more than that. I’ll explain. I set this trip up several months ago, and I was very excited about going, until it got closer and then I began to panic. I haven’t flown in almost 20 years and I have heard so many horror stories about going through security and people being strip searched—well you’ve probably heard the same stories I’ve heard. Anyway, my daughter helped me with my packing and assured me that all would be well. Actually, everything did go well. I passed security with flying colors and as soon as I got on the plane I felt at ease again. The reason I put “Yes I Can” is because this is the first trip I’ve made since I have been alone. It’s kind of a scary world out there when you’re facing things “alone.” I learned from this trip that I have many friends and although I have felt “alone”, I really am not. I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Sacramento, California, even though I had to make a trip to the walk in clinic for antibiotics. I just couldn’t believe that I got sick and stayed in bed for almost two days. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with Debbie. She showed me lots of sights, but the most wonderful day was when we went to Napa Valley and San Francisco. We rode a tram up to the winery, and I had forgotten that I was afraid of heights—but I made it up and also back down. Our route to San Francisco would take us across the Golden Gate Bridge and even though I also have a hangup with bridges, it was exciting to go across. We went down to Fisherman’s Wharf and on to Pier 39. We ate at Bubba Gumps Shrimp Restaurant and it was really good. Today was my trip back home. The plane in Sacramento left about 15 minutes late and as a result, I missed my flight back to Chattanooga. I knew I only had a few minutes to get to that plane and I ran like crazy. Had to take the train, walking sidewalk, and the escalator upstairsm and wouldn’t you know it, my gate was at the end. The plane was there, but they were ready for takeoff and they wouldn’t let me on. I had a 3 hour layover. Christi went on to the airport in Chattanooga to see if my luggage arrived, and it had. So all I had to do was get on the plane and get back off without going to the baggage section. All in all, my trip was a success. I found out that “Yes I Can” do the things I want to do again. While I was waiting for my flight back to Chattanooga I started checking my Facebook. My favorite verse was shared by someone, Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I had the assurance that my life is not over yet, and the best is yet to come. DR 11/27/12

Thanksgiving 2012

I've thought a lot about what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. I am thankful for good health. God has really been good to me that I am healthy. I am thankful for my daughter, Christi. She is not only my daughter but has become my best friend. I needed to pack for a trip and she helped me with my packing and encouraging me not to be afraid to fly again. I think she really got concerned when I was near hysteria and walking the floor. She's never seen me that way and I have always been able to conceal that part of me from anybody--well, except for Charles and he always seem to say the right thing to calm me. I discovered that it wasn't the flying that was bothering me, but rather going through security and making sure my luggage was correct. I passed with flying (no pun intended) colors. As soon as I got on the airplane, I was in love with flying again. I guess it's the insecurity of being alone, but I was always alone when I used to fly--so why would it be any different now? Well, for one thing you don't have the husband to call and make sure that you feel secure and safe--I am now the one in control of myself. Wow, kind of a big job. I can do this. Well, I do have a lot of things on my bucket list in the coming months--taking a cruise. I have been afraid to even do that because of so many people disappearing from the cruise boats. In each case though, it seems that alcohol may have been involved. That shouldn't be a problem for me. Another fear would be flying across the ocean and I plan to go to Europe next summer. Guess I'll need knockout drops when I do that one. Yes, I am thankful for a lot of things this year. I'm thankful that I have the courage and ambition to try new things. You never get too old to learn. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I disagree. This ole dog is learning a lot of new tricks and I'm enjoying everyone of them. Don't ever be afraid to step out and try something new. DR 11/21/12

"SH"

Charles and I had not been married very long. He was traveling quite a bit for work at that time. I thought I would be the perfect, sweet little wife and I enclosed a love note in his luggage. I started it off with “SH” and I don’t remember the rest of it, probably I love you or something and then I signed it. I thought it very strange that while he was gone he never mentioned my note. When he got home, I asked him if he found my note and he said yes and he had been really concerned about that note all week. I asked him, “why”? He said well, you started the note with “SH” and everybody knows that stands for s**t head. I burst out laughing and he said, what’s so funny? I told him I meant for it to be Sweet Heart and that I never used that other term to begin with. So being the mischievous person that I am, the next trip had a note enclosed with all kinds of abbreviations. I never forgot that and neither did he. When I said “SH” he would always ask me which one was I calling him and I would always say, “guess”. DR 11/14/12

Snookums

It seems like I have known Tony forever. I guess we’ve been friends since 1997 when I first got into real estate. He was a loan officer and also a good friend. Oh, did I mention that I’m old enough to be his mother? Well, anyway, I had the buyers for a property and they were ready to continue their paperwork with Tony. I can’t remember all the details but I remember Tony and I were going to wait at McDonalds until I got a counter back from the listing agent. The listing agent came in and asked if Tony and I were married….. We looked at each other and kind of laughed. I thought is he nuts? So after the listing agent left, Tony looked at me and said “Snookums, do you want some more coffee?” It has been our joke ever since. Tony has since found the woman of his dreams! Susan is such a wonderful wife and mother. I helped them find their “dream house.” Tony is not a loan officer anymore, and I really miss that. Thank you Tony for your great sense of humor and also being the good friend you’ve always been. DR

Eddie

I was 16 years old and I had gone to spend the night with my best friend, Diane. Yeah, they called us the two Diane’s. She was a blonde and my hair was jet black. She lived up the hill from me. We always went straight through the park to get to each other’s house. Well, this particular night, Diane’s mother was at work and her grandmother, Momsie really didn’t care what we did. Well, not that we ever did anything bad. For one thing, I was scared of my shadow. Diane had her boyfriend come over and he brought “Eddie” with him. To this day I do not know Eddie’s last name. The thing I do remember is the song, The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Yeah, another song to remind me of a time and place. Eddie wore a black leather jacket and was he ever cute. I never saw Eddie again after that night. It was a fun night. We didn’t do anything except some hugging and kissing which was a biggie for me back then. Oh Eddie, I wonder what ever happened to you? DR 11/9/12

Veteran's Day - 2012

Today I’m remembering that my dad served in World War II. I’m really thankful that he did because I was able to get him VA benefits for him and my mother when they were in assisted living. I remember when I first started the process my dad said you won’t ever get anything. I asked him if he had ever tried and he said yes. I asked him when and he said right after he got out of the service. I laughed and told him that he didn’t have me to get them for him. He said he didn’t care, I wouldn’t get anything. Well, it was a long process. You wouldn’t believe the hours and hours I put in—not only on the computer trying to fill out forms but also going over to the VA center at Eastgate. There were many days that I got over there before 8 a.m. and stayed minimum of 4 hours. It was worth it though. Because of the VA benefits my mother and dad were able to be taken care of properly. I wanted to be able to take them into my home, but my husband had also gotten ill at the same time. At first when everyone got sick, I have to admit that I felt sorry for myself. I kept asking myself, why me? Why is all of this happening to me and then I realized that it wasn’t “me”. I was the person here who could take control and know what to do and do what was right for each one of them. Yes, at times it hurt. At times my dad who had never raised his voice to me in my life took all of his frustrations and hurts out on me. I was a Daddy’s girl and he always defended me about any and everything. Charles helped me as long as he was able to and he would ride with me to assisted living. It meant a lot to just have him in the car to help me with my emotions after I left both of them. My mother was in her own little world while my dad had complete control of his senses. He couldn’t deal with all that was taking place. Because the VA benefits kicked in I no longer had to do their laundry every week. I was able to pay assisted living to take care of that. I remember one time I walked in with about 4 laundry baskets that I had folded—just for my mother—and a man asked if I did laundry for everyone. I had to laugh and tell him that was just my mother’s laundry. All I ever told my dad is that I did get VA benefits for him and my mother. I never told him how much. It took me a year to get them started and the VA went back to day one to start the checks. The first check got me out of a financial bind with their own personal money. My parents weren’t rich by any means, but my mother was very good with money. I just wish I had listened better when she was taking me with her to take care of their financial affairs. My mother never knew that everything was okay as far as money was ooncerned, she was just happy that she was being taken care of. When I took her to assisted living she thought she was in a huge house and had maids who were cleaning and cooking for her. Oh, the beauty of our minds! Thank you VA for making life so much easier not only for me but for my parents! DR – 11/11/12

My Life is Like a Song

Sometimes I feel like my life is like a song. Somebody will say something and I automatically think of a song. Seems so crazy, but I put so much humor in everything I do, it’s really just like me to have a song for everything I do. I can hear a song on the radio and I automatically think of a time and place in my life. Sometimes it’s a very good memory and sometimes it brings back a heartbreaking time in my life. When I was growing up, I don’t believe my mother or dad ever heard my voice. I had everything in my room—telephone (rotary), tv (black and white, by the way), my Voice of Music hi fi as it was called back then. We were so poor and I didn’t have a clue that we were. I felt rich because I had everything I needed. My mother gave me $3 a week, but I had to have supper on the table every night and keep the house clean. I also sewed aprons for my mother to sell to her fellow workers. I did a little bit of everything to make money. I also made all of my clothes from the time I was 10. When I got to high school the girls in my home economics class didn’t like to sew so I brought home lots of collars, or sleeves, whatever it was we were sewing at the time. I charged 25 cents per collar or sleeve. Looks like the teacher would have wondered why they all looked alike. When I talked on the telephone it was usually to help somebody with math, or some subject. I was so shy that if you looked at me I would turn blood red. I know, I know nobody believes that at all today. People wonder what happened to the person who never opened her mouth. I had to make a speech at our ninth grade commencement and I thought I would die. If I had an oral book report in English, I would throw up and throw up the night before. I just couldn’t do it. This remained to be the case for me in my adult years until I married Charles. I remember I had gone to Huntsville, AL for a big meeting where I was recognized for recruiting five women in one month into a company I was involved in. When I stood up and was going to speak, my mouth moved, but nothing came out. I was so embarrassed. I wanted to crawl under a table. I cried all the way home. Charles told me it was okay that I would stop being that way. He always told me how smart he thought I was and one time he even said, “you’re way smarter than I even thought.” He encouraged me and I guess all of his encouragement paid off—or maybe he just created a monster! I remember how afraid I was to do anything. I wanted to go to a big meeting in Dallas, TX called “Celebration” and Charles told me that I needed to go by myself. He told me if he went I would cling to him and not talk to anybody. So, I kept talking about having to fly to Dallas by myself and a woman that I worked with told me she would go with me to that thing in Dallas if we would go to Southfork. At that time the tv series “Dallas” was very popular. I told her yes we would go. I’ll never forget the look on Charles’ face when I got on that airplane. He knew that I had not slept for two weeks before that trip. My friend told me to close my eyes and hold her hand, that it would be all right. As soon as the airplane started down the runway and began takeoff, I started smiling and I told Cherry that I thought I was going to love to fly. I did become a frequent flyer. I flew to Dallas several years every six months—by myself. I loved to fly. Charles told me he was going to teach me to be independent and I believe he did a good job. I still have those times that I cringe inside, but nobody can tell. When I hear Kool and the Gang when they sing “Celebration”, yes it reminds me of my trips to Dallas. That was always the theme song. I think of the first time I flew to Dallas everytime I hear it. That trip was so exciting. I really believed that I could be up on that stage the next year and win a fur coat. I called Charles and told him and he got excited too. I was telling him what he wanted to hear. The next year I was on that stage. Nobody knew if I was in Top Ten or not, but I knew that Charles believed I would be. He told me when number 11 came out, he clapped, he shouted and another husband said, oh I bet you’re proud of your wife. Charles said, Hell no, my wife has won a fur coat. He said when number 10 came out, he thought she didn’t make it by the skin of her teeth, then number 9, and I was number 8 out of 50 states. I still have my Blue Fox Fur with my signature monogrammed on the inside. They had to stop giving furs because of so much controversy but to me it means a lot. It showed me that with persistence and encouragement, you can do anything. The time came that I gave that part of my life up and I got into real estate. I remember during the training I got into my car and called Charles and told him I just didn’t think that I could do this. I was crying. He calmly told me to put my car into gear and come home. He said I have invested a lot of money in you and you can do this. I’ve been in real estate since 1997. I have my broker’s license in both Tennessee and Georgia. I was even a Managing Broker at one time. I became the Managing Broker over a man who had owned and managed a real estate office for almost 40 years. I remember that first Christmas I gave him a thank you card for all the help he had given me. He came to my office and said that he had not done a thing. He told me that I was smart on my own and he would even ask me for advice. He will never know how much that meant to me. It was during that time that my life fell apart. The three people closest to me all got sick at the same time. Another story, another time. It seems my life with Charles was a time of learning. He was my teacher. I have many stories I can tell about him. He had that warped sense of humor that I tend to also have. He was not a people person. He was the kind of person that the more you were around him, the better you liked him. I knew the “real” Charles. Well, my life is still a song. I’m hearing new melodies. I look forward to each day now. I have the optimistic view that good things are going to happen. What songs am I hearing? Guess that will be for another time.