Yes, I Can!

Before Charles and I got married, I told him that there was something in the wedding vows I would not commit to. He asked what that could be and I told him, submission. I would never be submissive again. He told me that he wanted me to learn to be independent and think on my own. Wow!

I can also remember right after Charles and I got married, I asked him to go to Loveman’s with me at lunchtime. We stopped in front of a cosmetics counter and I explained to him that I really loved this particular lotion and cologne. I explained that the lotion was a little high. He stood there a few moments and said, I don’t know why you’re showing me this. It appears to me that instead of buying the small lotion, it would be better if you bought the large size—it will last longer and is cheaper by the ounce. Anyway, this is not a luxury, this is a necessity and you don’t have to ask my permission. I thought then and there, this man is definitely a KEEPER!

Yesterday turned out to be a difficult day for me. I didn’t think that it would—but I was wrong. I finally decided to clean myself up and get out of the house. I went over to Christi’s and we (including Scott) went to Costco and shopped around and then we went to eat. While we were there, a couple that Scott and Christi know, came in. We talked to them awhile after we all finished eating. It was refreshing to hear about their trips to Belize to help people who are less fortunate than us. He told me how he had taken several wringer type washing machines there and how thankful they were to get them. He told me how the pastor there had gotten so creative that he created a shower out of a refrigerator. How can I feel so sorry for myself when I have so many luxuries of life?

The night Charles died, I wondered how I could ever live one day without him. This was the first time in my life I had ever been faced with living alone. Well, I’ve made it a year. I have found that I am independent and yes, I can make it. I actually love my life. I come and go when I choose. I choose who I want to spend my time with. I enjoy everything that I do now.

Thank you Charles for teaching me how to take care of myself. I miss you terribly, but thank you. I know you’re in heaven watching and waiting.

DR
3/22/11