Mother

I can finally talk about the last time I saw you. I was so distraught when the social worker kept calling me from assisted living. You were on hospice and you had been x-rayed to see if you had any broken bones when you fell. You had no broken bones, but you still couldn’t walk to the dining room to eat. You were so bruised and in a lot of pain. I had gone to pick up your pain medicine the night you fell. You fell on Wednesday. All day Friday the social worker kept calling me. She said I should take you off of hospice so you could go to the emergency room. I knew that you were not able to do that. I was at my wit’s end because Charles was already in a wheelchair and I knew that he didn’t have much longer to live I just didn’t know how I could manage having you downstairs and Charles upstairs, both of you on hospice.. I took a shower and when I got out I had a voice mail from the social worker. She said it was inhumane treatment for you to suffer and yell out in pain all day. That was my turning point. Hospice had ordered a hospital bed to be delivered to your room at assisted living. I called hospice and asked if it could be delivered to my house. They said yes. I told them to have it delivered about 4:30. I called an ambulance and asked them to pick you up and bring you to my house at 5:30. Debbie told me she would stay with you 24/7 downstairs. Leon and Debbie helped me clean out the room that had become my catch all room. I had trains, a lot of stuff I cleaned out of your house, and a lot of stuff where I had cleaned out my office I had in East Ridge. We carried so much stuff to the garage, but we got the room looking so warm and cozy by the time the hospital bed arrived. I put my little stove that looked like real logs in it, and they were electric, but I knew that would keep you even warmer. I put a small couch in there. I couldn’t have done it without Leon and Debbie. I remember running back up the steps and telling Charles, Oh, I forgot to ask you if it’s ok that I bring my mother here. Charles looked at me and said, I’m breaking out in smiles all over because I think that’s the right thing to do. The ambulance arrived with you right on time. Leon went out to meet you and asked if you knew where you were. You answered him, Yes, Leon, I’m so happy. She has brought me home. Those words still echo in my brain today. Genell fixed you a wonderful supper—fried chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes, and biscuits. I think there was more, but that’s what you really liked. Two of your sisters were here—Genell and Reida. Leon, Debbie, Ginger, and Kristin came over. Leon went upstairs and carried Charles down to see you. It was amazing that you knew everybody’s names. I couldn’t stay because I had to go back and get your clothes, medicine, and to tell my dad that I brought you home. When I got your medicine, all of it was still there. You were in pain because they had not given you any pain medicine. I went back home and Debbie was making you all comfortable and we gave you your pain medicine. You were hungry again so you ate another biscuit and gravy. I heated up what I had left. You told Debbie that Genell was sure stingy with her gravy. Kristin went down to Genell’s and got some more gravy for your biscuit. My last words to you were, Debbie is going to spoil you and you replied, she already has. I went upstairs knowing that you weren’t in pain and I had you in good hands with Debbie. Leon promised you two country fried eggs for breakfast to go with Genell’s homemade biscuits and gravy. You really loved biscuits and gravy. You went to sleep a very happy woman. Charles and I slept through the night for the first time in several months. I woke up the next morning and ran down the steps. I felt like the first time Christi slept through the night when she was a baby. Debbie looked at me and said, everything’s ok. I’ve been checking on her all night. I was so relieved. We stood at the door and you were snoring like a freight train, but I heard another sound. I asked Debbie, what is that other noise? She said you were congested and she would get you to cough when you woke up. I sat downstairs for a little while and Debbie and I discussed what we would do the rest of the weekend. We had all the meals planned out. I went back upstairs to get dressed and Debbie went in to wake you up. She said as soon as she entered your room it was totally quiet. She called Leon. Yes, you were gone that quick. Leon came up the steps to tell me. I couldn’t believe it. I was just down there. I was ready to run down the steps, but Charles told me to call hospice first and get my paperwork. You see, the previous year I went to the funeral home and set up four funerals—Charles, my mother, my dad, and me. I had all the necessary paperwork attached to each one. My parents wanted to be buried at National Cemetery so I had to make sure everything would be ok. I called hospice and went downstairs with my paperwork. I’ll never forget what I saw—Debbie was laying over you sobbing. I just felt numb. I had never been around anyone who had just died. This is as far as I can go with this story right now. I didn’t cry then, but I am now and it has been three years. All I can find comfort in right now, is what you said to Leon. “I’m so happy, she’s brought me home.” DR 3/6/13