Thursday, May 2, 2013
Some Days are Diamonds, Some Days are Stone
I listened to this song tonight and it made me feel so sad. I try to make all of my days “diamonds”, but sometimes they just end up being “stones.” It talks about the face that I see in my mirror, and yes my face does look like a stranger to me sometimes. It seems that this past year I am trying to find “me.” It has been long time since I am just “me.” In the past I was a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, employee and the list can go on. I am a different person to each of these people, but I am no longer a wife or daughter. Mother’s Day is coming up and I thought there is no one for me to buy for. And now I wear a white rose instead of the red one. All of a sudden I think back and wonder where did all of the time go? We take things for granted until we no longer have them. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life and I’m not done. There is still so much “living” to do. I am still a mother and grandmother. Someday I may be a great grandmother. My oldest grandson introduced me to his girlfriend as his “hot” grandmother. I hope to keep that title. What lies ahead? I don’t know. I hope to make everyday a “diamond” day, but I know that there are still some stones ahead. I just want to make them “stepping” stones to get back to the diamonds again. It seems that after midnight is when I start all of this deep thinking. Maybe I should go to bed and think about the diamond day I will have tomorrow. Fridays are always good.
DR
5/3/13
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hello , yes just dropping bye . read the profile and the "days are diamond some days are like stones" and I too have lost my mother and partner two years ago. I moved out of the bed room and in to the spare room, I work long hours 4 days a week to keep a roof over my head, at least thats what mother instilled in me, one just keep going. but they dont tell you about the what ifs. Any way every one was heare for the funeral of the deceased husband ,then they left,the son worried about me ,but I locked my self away because it was my problem and I didnt wangt to rely on him to get me thru, and friends like usual dont call any more, I guess because its a tabu conversation , reality that is, and now Im stuck , I so desperately want to make new friends and find some one as a close male companion tried the dating sites and they just seem to want friend with benefits, not me I want the truth of it all, you miss out on so much when your a carer, so now I stuggle with " where do I GO' Im not churchy, and only really have the week end for socialising and not much on. some times I feel like its time for a change,but dont know where too,.
ReplyDeleteI have been in the place that you're describing to me. I don't know what to tell you except that it takes time and for me I have had to take "baby" steps. Yes, I get extremely lonely. Some days I can sit in this house for days at a time and never get out of my pajamas. I went back to work recently and that is helping. I found a friend whose husband died 2 years ago and we go to some singles meetings together. Some churches have singles groups where they go eat, see movies, etc. Debbie and I go monthly to a singles dance. It's a lot of fun and there are all ages there. It's not easy to put yourself out there again. This is the first time in my life that I have been alone. Feel free to write me.
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