Key Largo

I heard this song tonight and some sad memories came flooding back. This song reminds me of the divorce that I went through many years ago. I felt a great sadness while this song was playing. It’s amazing how a song can create a feeling that you had over 30 years ago. I never thought when I married the first time that I would ever go through a divorce. Even though I knew I had made a mistake in this marriage, I would have stayed married until I died. Someone told me that you need to decide what you can live with. For me, when your spouse is seeing someone else, well that just means that the love is not there. I decided that I could live with anything except that. I can say that divorce is not easy. So many angry words and actions take place and it’s just part of the process. Why can’t people stay together and be happy? I don’t know. I do know that in my second marriage, it was really different. I knew what I wanted and so did Charles. I’m not saying that it was easy, because I thought that we would not last through the first year of our marriage. He had been alone for a lot of years and I had been alone for almost three years. Yes, you get set in your ways. I don’t know what to tell anyone who is considering a divorce. I think you should go to a marriage counselor. Try to find out what is wrong and then take steps to fix the problem. For me, if you want to have someone different, then just get a divorce and start dating. Don’t date while you’re still married. Sometimes your marriage has been over for years and you’re still just there existing from day to day. It really doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes it’s a matter of money, or you may lose a lot of your possessions. To me, money or possessions doesn’t mean as much to me as my being happy. Yes, the divorce was traumatic to me. I didn’t think that I could make it financially. I still had a little girl to take care of When I filed for the divorce, I went to each person I worked with and told them and then I asked them not to ask me any questions. I couldn’t talk about it. Can you get over it even when you know it’s over and been over for a long time? Yes, you can. I did and I don’t regret it. I would rather live alone for the rest of my life than be miserable with someone. Charles gave me almost 30 years of total happiness. He told people until he died that we were still on our honeymoon. With him, yes it was an undying love. His last poem he wrote to me had that title. Oh how I miss those poems. Well, Key Largo is a beautiful song and I read the words and they are beautiful. But, when I hear it, I think of a different time and place. DR 2/22/13