Til I Can Make It On My Own

I heard this song on one of my cd’s tonight and I had to cry. I guess I’m having one of those times when I wonder if I’m going to have to always try to make it on my own. Several things have happened that I wish Charles were here to fix. He knew everything about our house and also what to do and who to call when anything broke. Now, it is up to me. Well, I just have to call my cousin, Leon. I told him the other day I didn’t know what I would do without him. Today, I went to my car and when I turned on the ignition, it said to check my tire pressure. Well, the left rear tire said that I had one pound of air in it. I had 8 houses set up to show, so the only thing I could do was say thank you God that I have a truck! Actually, it’s a very good truck, but it is a gas hog. The next thing I did was, yes, call Leon. He told me what to do and I know he’ll help me get the tire up enough so I can take it to be fixed. Thank goodness when I bought my tires I also purchased the tire warranty so my flats can be fixed free. I’m the queen of flats! I guess what I really needed was the dry humor that Charles used to use when anything upset me. He could always make me laugh and then the worst things never seemed to be that bad. I was really fortunate to have him in my life almost 30 years. He was my best friend and sometimes I wonder if I will ever find another best friend again. I truly believe that there is someone out there who needs a best friend too. When I listened to that song I was pulling into my dark driveway. I remember Charles always waiting for me and I could spill my guts to him. He was never judgmental and always encouraged me. Yes, I miss that. No one really knows how lonely life can be until they lose someone they truly loved. I thought I did, but I didn’t until it happened to me. Tonight it just seemed the loneliness had a grip on me. It seems my daughter always calls me at the right time and she can always sense when something’s wrong. I know I’m loved, but still there is a loneliness no one can understand until they are faced with it. So, as the song goes, I’ll get by until I can make it on my own…. DR